ACTION WORDS

Being Lost
by Jimmy Brown

 

June 2010

 

 

Hello, my name is Jimmy Brown and I’m 36-years old and I’m incarcerated for organized crime. I’ll be released in two years and I have or will have served 74 months in prison.

Here is just a little bit about myself. I’m from Marion, Ohio and I lived in the roughest neighborhood in town. I have a lot of regrets and a lot to share. I was beaten a lot growing up and I feel as I was lost as a child growing up and thrown to the side. Ever since I have grown up I have taken it upon myself never to be like my parents.

I always thought I was different from everyone as I was growing up, but now I see I wasn’t different, just lost. Now that I’ve been incarcerated for four years, I’ve had time to truly find myself and to find Christ. It’s been a long journey for me and my children. I have two beautiful daughters.

They are my most precious gifts in life. I’d die for them in a heartbeat. My deepest regret in life is not being there. We shared many precious memories and that’s how I have survived—through those memories and through the strength and guidance of the Word. It’s amazing how my mind has opened up to the world around me; that is how ignorant I was—the people and the lives I was destroying. I sit back in this 6 x 10 cell day in and day out, and I reach out to the young men around me and try to give them wisdom and knowledge.

I was a simpleton until I opened up the Book and my chest and my lungs were filled with inspiration with the need to learn, to be open-minded, and to search for forgiveness within myself, within my higher power, and within my family. Yet, I’ve been in search of forgiveness for those I’ve hurt and left to fend for themselves; and yet I’ve been found and forgiven as a result of the most precious gift in life: the Man from Above. He has given me power to learn, strength to go on, and the wisdom and knowledge to share and to express myself through my artwork and shear preservation.

My mind is like a Rolodex. It keeps growing and learning day in and day out. There will always be issues, loyalties, and conflict in our daily lives, but in the midst of hardships it is always important to turn to the ones you love and believe, forgive, keep the faith, show strength, overcome these obstacles, and let the Lord show you the way.

Believe in his guidance. His words are as powerful as your words are. Just try your best to be true and believe in yourself. This comes from a man that lost himself, lost his beliefs, his faith, and his courage. Now, God gave me my beliefs and my strength, and I am grateful “for being lost.” Now, I’m found.

 

Editor's Note: Artist Jimmy Brown, one of RED! the breakthrough 'zine's most loyal contributing artists, is currently incarcerated at Southern Ohio Correctional Facility. His letters and short essays evoke so much pro-active thinking and activity. He works very hard in SOCF mentoring other inmates, creating greeting cards, and doing his art. He is a joy to know.

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